I made a new art account a while ago, but I've been too lazy to put it up. All my really good stuff will go here, but I'm going to only watch people on this account because it's easier to do it that way (you're all added already.)
So, here it is:
Gravenrefuge

Make sure to add me on there, because amazing stuff will be on there

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So... I've been home for a while now. I was helping lead a camp for the first week of summer, and that was amazing. The coolest thing ever happened! Two of the girls in my cabin became followers of Jesus!
I was going to help teach Vacation Bible school the next week, didn't need... my help... I got a job instead.
I went to a camp for myself, SYC the week after that. Three weeks into summer and God was torturing me to tell my parents things I didn't want them to hear. SYC was a mixture of panic and agony as I realized that I needed to do things I didn't really want to do at all- and that God was telling me to do it.
So I got home and told my parents all about various "very bad" things I'd been into for the past years. Anyways.
Now I'm working like crazy. I have the most repetitive job ever. I clean seniors' rooms all day...
I don't have a lot of time for art anymore. I am squeezing it in somehow, though. I've got to scan a bunch more of it and put it up here.

This is insane. I feel so... abandoned. Forsaken. There's already intense change going on in my life, so it doesn't really matter what happens where I live now. I'll be gone soon anyways, but I never expected this to happen.
Why are all the people I need most being taken out of my life at a time when I really need them? Or maybe I don't, and God is trying to make a point. Whatever, but it hurts.
First it was sister moving out. Then it was my best friends. I moved/they moved and we just lost touch for the most part. Then my brother moved out and that was very sad for me. Then another really good friend moved away... then another left, then my youth pastor moved away... Then today, I got word that the senior pastor of my church is leaving.
At the same time it doesn't even really matter to me, because I'm deserting everyone to when fall comes. But I'm still so shocked! I won't have anyone left to come home to at Christmas.
It kinda makes sense, though. God knows what He's doing, so I'm not that worried. He'll give me new role models where I'm moving... He'll help me understand His plan or have peace with it. I know I can handle it now, but it just... hurts.


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I'll get more pictures up soon... I've just been very unmotivated lately.

I've been thinking a lot lately about drunkenness. First of all, because I have a good reason to because of aftergrad and such. But also, because I'm going to have to deal with it lots when I move away to rez.
Drinking confuses me because I have two opposing views on it at the same time. As long as those views are somewhat balanced, I'm ok. One thing I never want to do is die of being an alcoholic, like one of my dad's employee's parents did. The sadest thing was that at that funeral, they served alcohol. Irony. Very sad irony.
Overall, though, I think drinking is a pretty immature thing to do. Ones who are older and wiser don't go out and get drunk to have fun, and I think that should indicate something to those who still have enough brain cells and sobriety to comprehend it. It's funny to watch drunk people but desperately horrifying at the same time. Don't drink. Keep your brain cells, they may come in handy.

There's someone who makes me laugh. She's not nice to me; in fact, she acts quite insensitive all the time. Every time I say something, she snaps a quick reply that is intended to make me shut up or cower off in a corner. It makes me laugh. Maybe she thinks she's winning, but really, she loses because she just excersizes my patience and love. And I love her with all the love my barely-beating little heart can give.
I can't say that I honestly hate anyone. There's been times I've been dangerously close... Even my parents; they definetly don't know how to handle me or what I do, but I don't hate them. They've hurt me a lot in the past two weeks, but I can't really blame them for that. I never hated the mean guys back in grade 9 who wrote nasty things on my binders, or the people who budge in line in front of me, or the rude lady who snatched a pair of pants from my Mom at the store as she was going to put them in her shopping cart. How can one hate what God loves? How can one reject the joy that God wants to put into their soul?
And so I laugh. I laugh because the sharp words that others say to me can't hurt me. Though Satan works well through those around me without them really understanding it, God is my shield. Satan knows my weaknesses and what those people make me want to do, and I laugh because if God is for me, nothing is against me.